Opus Lazuli

by Evoke

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about

Not too long ago, somebody who I trusted and respected turned on me, and completely alienated and isolated me. I opened myself up to somebody who I believed I could love, and the wounds they inflicted upon me become that much more painful as a result. It took a long time before I realized that it wasn't my fault. Self doubt and sadness haunted me for months, but the pain has enlightened me in ways I would never have expected.

This song is about my newfound perspective, looking back at a relationship that once had a potential to be amazing, and which turned cold and sour without warning. It's about sorting through all my naivety with a discerning eye, and picking apart all the pretty lies I used to tell myself in an effort to maintain sanity. Most importantly, it's about burning a bridge to a place I know I never need to go again. There is nothing wrong with breaking ties with truly toxic people, regardless of what they may have meant to you in the past.

Letting go of responsibility for others is hard, but extremely important. We need to be able to admit when other people have wronged us, and to be free from the self doubt that arises when we are hurt. It is not your obligation to save or coddle the people you love, even if it hurts to know you can't save them. It is not your fault that some people will never truly appreciate you. Even if you admit this, it may not stop you from trying to fix them, or from trying to fix yourself to appease them.

If you relate to this, find it within yourself to let your past stay in the past, and to admit when you're sacrificing yourself for somebody who wouldn't do the same for you. Break ties if you need to. Burn bridges if you have to. Life is too beautiful to spend time dwelling on people you can't change. You're better than that. I promise.

With all of these experiences behind me, I can confidently say: I will not make the same mistakes again.

lyrics

Lyrics:

I'm banking on a total change of plan
The ground's breaking but I won't let go of who I am
You start shaking like you know what's about to happen
And I know what I need to say
But I can't seem to form the sentences

So I'm taking all the letters that you sent
All your sentiments and your photographs and gifts
Into the backyard with a match
And a bottle of gin that they'll be drowning in
Before they burn to death

We're too far gone
And I'm burning all the evidence
It's not enough
I don't know what could make you think that it was
I'm not your savior
But it doesn't mean I won't try tonight
Not to make the same mistakes again

I'm learning what it's like–what it's like to live
I'm burning with a fire that won't forgive
All your sentiments and your photographs and gifts
They turn to ashes in the wind

We're too far gone
And I'm burning all the evidence
It's not enough
I don't know what could make you think that it was
I'm not your savior
But it doesn't mean I won't try tonight
Not to make the same mistakes again

We'll burn
We'll burn
It will burn
We'll burn forever

We're too far gone
And I'm burning all the evidence
It's not enough
I don't know what could make you think that it was
I'm not your savior
But it doesn't mean I won't try tonight
Not to make the same mistakes again

credits

released January 12, 2016

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about

Evoke Boulder, Colorado

I am fueled by emotion and driven by experience. This is my best attempt to share all of that with you.

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